Up&Apart—By Dwayne Walker

June 15, 2020
Dwayne Walker


I run, but I can’t hide.
Over the past month a day hasn’t gone by
Where I didn’t cry.
I’m losing a grip on life. I want to be free.
I’ve been missing what I felt like in 93.
Honestly, I can’t tell if it’s your presence or your advice,
But your entire essence is the reason I’m still alive.
I’ve been fighting for so long trying to hold on tight,
But I’m losing a grip on life...
And it’s breaking my heart.
I’m tearing up and apart...
I’m tearing up and apart...
I spent a lot of time
Sorting through the things in my mind.
My reality shattered in front of my eyes
When I realized society raised me on lies.
I’m wondering why?
Drugs were never a habit,
but I guess that’s how it starts.
I took the sheet of acid,
and tore it up and apart.
Overwhelmed by emotions
I want to handle them in sections.
So I let it soak under my tongue
to make some new connections.
I question what’s fact and what’s fiction?
What thoughts are original and what thoughts were given?
What parts of my life did I write? What was already written?
So many questions...I‘m overthinking?
Why did I go to college? Do I really want children?
Can I love how I love with my lover’s permission?
Why does everybody think that their religion is right?
Why do I follow the one founded by some racist whites?
Why do I need hair like yours, to close a million dollar deal?
Why do I even want a million dollars, my nigga let’s keep it real?
What can I do for you to stop worrying about my health?
I wear a smile on my face to bluff the hand I was dealt.
Why do I call these parts of me flaws?
Where did I find the image to compare?
Would I embrace my so-called flaws
If the standard of beauty wasn’t there?
I challenge every view. Struggle to find the truth,
I feel a little blue, but I’m fighting to change the hue.
And even though right now most of my reality’s skewed,
The only truth I know for sure, are my feelings for you...
And that’s breaking my heart.
Because we’re growing up and apart...
Up and apart.

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