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December 10, 2020

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Have you ever experienced something so magically novel that you couldn't even remember it? It happened to me twice—both happened with Ife. The first time was a series of jokes that got funnier and funnier at each level. The last time was a kiss at 4am in Mexico that felt like a dream. We can't remember both.

I read about memory lapses and depersonalization-derealization disorder, but I doubt we both simultaneously experienced a mental disorder and memory lapses don't seem to happen with situations you are excited to remember. Trust me, this is something we both knew we wanted to remember forever while it was happening.

The commonalities between the situations:

1. Time seems nonexistent. During the act we were so present that we don't know how long we were even engaging in the the act. What's even crazier is, even looking back on the situation, it's hard to identify how long the experience lasted for.
2. Senses feel inhumanly heightened. We've both never laughed that hard in my life. The joke was hilarious. We've both never experienced such a mesmerizing kiss like that before either.
3. We both couldn't explain what we experienced. There weren't any words in my word bank to explain. Since it was indescribable / unexplainable, I wonder if the brain requires language to remember things.
3. We forgot what happened immediately after it finished. Time wasn't the factor that made the moment fade into the abyss.
4. We were oddly present. We were existing (we were completely here), but nonexistent (we felt like we were elsewhere). When I say nonexistent, I mean an abstract space. I've never felt anything like it before.

Is this feeling familiar to anyone else?

Stay creative,

Dwayne Walker

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